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< December 20, 2006 - 12:59 a.m. > There's something about taking the long way home, missing the turnoff to my house so we can talk endlessly about life and the future and why good things always feel so imminent, something that just drives me crazy because of how much I've missed it and fills me with so much hope that I'm almost grateful not to be able to have nights like this more often -- they're more special this way, few and far between but always coming at such a good time. It's true that our lives are in strange places right now, that we're drastically different versions of who we were four months ago, and that in another four months we'll be different again, in completely different and totally unpredictable ways, but I think I like that; there's something about being able to feel like you're growing up and becoming who you're meant to be, instead of just having it happen to you or it happening without you even noticing it, that makes it scary but also completely right. It's time for good things to happen, for us to end up where we want to be instead of where other people think we should end up, doing things we love instead of what we're supposed to; and it's time for us to stop wondering if we've made the right decision, to stop justifying our lives to others, to stop second-guessing life every time we choose new directions; it's time for me to stop being afraid to say what I want to say, time for you to stop feeling like you owe something to everyone. It's just time. I've been having a really hard time sleeping every since I got here, so I've been listening to "avril 14th" by aphex twin a lot while I'm trying to fall asleep. It reminds me of being stuck inside on a rainy day and I like that a lot. I can't believe I've |
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